That was just for you Gwen. I hope you enjoyed.
So, I'm not even sure I should be writing this blog right now. It might be a little premature. Something is changing in my life, but I haven't fully wrapped my head around it yet. It looks like it could be big, terrifying & amazing all at once. I think I have ideas about what God is doing, but what do I know? Not much, but I'll share what's been going on & maybe writing it out will help me sort through things a bit.
For the past several months I have felt like a significant change is coming in my life, but had no idea what it might be. I just had this tugging in my chest telling me to get ready for something new. Would it be a new job? A new address? A new relationship? A new ministry? I had no idea. I knew I wanted whatever it was God had for me. I knew I wanted change & I new God was telling me He was bringing it. That's it.
Well, things have started to seemingly become more clear. Not clear, just clearer. Many of you know that I moved to San Diego almost 11 years ago from Austin, TX with my Pastors & friends to start my church, Shoreline Christian Church. Well, about a month or two after we arrived in San Diego, a Prophet in our ministry, Jim Laffoon, came to town and ministered to those of us that were here to start the church. He prophesied over me & one of the things he said to me was that I was not to get too comfortable in San Diego. He said that I was going to use this experience of church planting again some day. He made it clear that it would be several years from that time, but that I would in fact leave San Diego to plant more churches. That was over 10 years ago.
I have recently had this very strong feeling that my time in San Diego might be drawing to a close. It scares the mess out of me. San Diego is my home. You are my family. Even as I try to write this I overcome with emotion at the slightest possibility that I may be leaving you. It's not that I'm afraid to go where God is calling me, but that I'm afraid to leave you. I have always known in the back of my head that I wouldn't be in San Diego forever, but I tried not to think about it. I can't ignore what is happening inside me right now though. If you keep up with my Facebook or Twitter pages, you may have seen a little bit of a theme lately. I've realized that it's time for a plot change in the story of my life. I recently finished the book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller, the author of "Blue Like Jazz". In it, Don talks about wanting his life to tell a better story. This spoke to me right where I was. If a screenplay were being written about my life, I'd want it to include better stories. For there to be better stories, I have to live better stories.
A couple of weeks ago I came across a friend's group on Facebook about his upcoming church plant in Marseille France. I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest as I scanned his page. It caught me off guard a little, to be honest. I took a step back & told myself that it was likely just me wanting change so bad that I was getting worked up over the first new thing I saw. That may still be the case. I'm praying & hoping to figure that out. This did, however, plant a seed in me that would take root quickly. I began praying about this much more often. I bought Rosetta Stone French 1 & 2. I started researching Marseille & looking for jobs & apartments. I got in contact with Matt, the missionary that is moving his family to Marseille to start this church. All the while, I'm not really thinking anything real is going to come of this (and it may not yet).
Then things got much more real. I'm not one to think that everything is a "sign" from God. I do, however, believe that God still speaks to His people through signs, wonders, dreams, visions, prophets & whatever else He has around at the time. In fact, I am in San Diego today because God gave me the exact same dream every night for two weeks about moving to San Diego to plant a church. This was before I even knew our Pastor was planning on coming to San Diego. When my Pastor told us that he was coming to San Diego, I immediately knew I was coming with him because God had already clearly spoke this to me. So, last Thursday I was at my Doctor's office waiting to be seen. I picked up a magazine from the rack & started flipping through it. What did I find? An article about Marseille France... I just started to laugh.
Earlier that same day, as I was sitting at my desk, I began to talk with God about what was happening in my heart. I told Him that I wanted to go wherever He was calling me, but I was scared. I told Him that I was too scared to quit my job. I wanted to have that kind of faith, but didn't. I told Him that if He was calling me to step out in faith & move, He was going to have to take my job from me. I got news the very next day, this past Friday, that I was going to be laid off come Christmas time (Gwen, that was my inciting incident). I told God He would have to take my job from me if He wanted me to move & He did just that the very next day... I actually laughed when my boss was giving me the "bad news" because it wasn't bad news to me at all. It is exciting news because it means that something big is coming in my life. God is doing something. This is just crazy!
I talked to Matt (Missionary in France) for about 2 hours on Saturday and I talked to my Pastors today at church. I have all them standing with me in prayer & seeking what God is doing in me in this season. I would GREATLY appreciate your prayers too.
I don't know what is going to happen next, but I have always known that I would plant more churches & always hoped it would be in Europe. It always felt like light years away, but now seems it is right in front of me. Everything has happened so fast. It feels like we can be in a season of waiting forever, but when God moves, it comes like a flash flood. I'm just trying to keep my head above water long enough to figure out what's coming next.
“On earth as it is in heaven” ~Jesus Christ
3 years ago